She called herself something along the lines of beautiful and made excuses to why she thought she wasn't worth it
A half cut smile from the side of the bar looking into a sea of people for somebody
Not for the promises of sex but for beverages and exchanges of quick and meaningless conversation to help forget and distract herself from the negative thoughts that clouded her mind at night
and the hope that maybe this someone would stay till morning
--
A polite formality to most but she just placed the blame upon her looks
And based her self worth on the fact that they would leave her naked and alone lying there abandoned once
more
Maybe it was the length of her dress or just maybe it was the fact that these men found they needed a release from there own demons inside of her
Because we all just need a release from ourselves
And I remember the morning that I stayed through the night and that my life was somehow not what she needed at that time
That walk back home wondering to myself maybe she was the replacement for the one that I left behind
One that I could hold tight and whisper in her ear that one day things were going to be all right
I hate that I have these thoughts and these hopes that someone will come in and save me from myself
forcing people into fake rolls that I so easily substitute for anyone else
Because I didn't even know her name
But I knew the way she felt
And that I too
Was replaceable
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